Mog On Broadway
by TLOZLink5
Summary: For some reason this is one of my more popular fics (six reviews as of this summary update, yay). I didn't really take to this much, even though it was my first fic. Whatever; if you like it, that's all that matters; I don't want to toot my own horn.
1. Chapter One

Introduction/Disclaimer: Ahhhh, my first fic. I always wondered what would happen if Mog ever became a Broadway star. Not so much a fic as it is a bunch of skits, but please R&R. But be gentle!  
  
Oh yes, and to keep the bloodthirsty lawyers in their cages: I do not hold any ownership of the Final Fantasy character Mog, who is the rightful property of Square. The various musicals likewise mentioned are also not produced by me. The B-52 Stratofortress fleet and the Daisy Cutters are the property of the U.S. Air Force. The Titanic is either the property of the White Star Line or of the bottom-dwelling marine life and coral which now live in the wreck.  
  
The King and I: Mog comes on stage for his solo, and the power of his dance transports the entire audience to Thailand. Their skeletal remains, identified only by their evening clothes, are found five years later in the jungle 150 miles north of Bangkok.  
  
The Nutcracker: Mog comes on stage with the other Sugarplum Fairies to dance the famous Nutcracker Suite. He accidentally dances the Snowman Jazz and brains a wealthy benefactor with a Snowball. The half-dead philanthropist is rushed to a hospital, where his fingers and nose are amputated due to frostbite. The ballet regrettably continues, with Mog accidentally casting Snare. The attack engulfs the entire orchestra in a bottomless pit, and they are never seen again.  
  
Cats: Mog's debut number in the famous "Jellicle Ball" summons the Esper, Stray. The feline's Cat Rain attack causes mass-confusion in the audience, as patrons of the arts attack each other viciously. Because of the fiasco, would-be theatergoers warily avoid the popular show. Ticket sales plummet drastically, and ratings decline at the same speed. A distraught Sir Andrew Lloyd Weber hangs self in London.  
  
Miss Saigon: Mog dances the Forest Suite in this blockbuster show about romance in the Vietnam War. His Cockatrice attack not only kills the poor conductor, but has a second effect: calling in an airstrike over Midtown Manhattan. Scores of B-52 bombers drop hundreds of the notorious "Daisy Cutter" fuel-air explosives across a large swath of the city. The resulting explosion clears a large area of Midtown, destroying everything south of Lincoln Center and north of TriBeCa. Mog, of course, is unharmed.  
  
Titanic: In this production, Mog dances just as the famous luxury liner is about to hit the iceberg. The result: the Love Sonata's Elf Fire. The attack melts the iceberg and saves the ship. Of course, there's no drama or tragedy if there's no sinking Titanic, so the musical ends at that point, and shows are canceled indefinitely until a replacement iceberg is cast.  
  
Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this little parody. If you have any suggestions for a second chapter, either E-mail me or write them down as a review. 


	2. Chapter Two (Whee, I'm a math whiz)

The madness continues! The second chapter of Mog on BroadwayÓmakes its FFN debut!  
  
42nd Street: Mog does something right for a change. The opening scene stalls abruptly when Mog, a chorus member, dances Love Sonata. The result: Specter! The chorus gets confused, loses its rythm, and the members intentionally bump into and kick each other. This is barely noticed by the audience, thank goodness, as Mog casts Tapir next. The cast is healed, and the performance continues.  
  
Mamma Mia!: This musical set to the music of ABBA takes place on an island in the Aegean. Naturally, Mog dances the Water Rondo. El Nino is cast, as a result. Musical is cancelled indefinitely until it stops raining inside the theater and they can get all the floodwater out.  
  
Stones in His Pockets: This two-man show involves a little acting on MogÕs part. However, the one dance scene in this play blows the audience away -- literally. Since the dominant biome in Ireland is rolling fields, he goes with his instincts and dances the Wind Song. The result is, naturally, Wind Slash. The audience tries to contend with the winds, yet to no avail; they are blown out of the theater and across town. The next thing they know, they've landed in New Jersey, the armpit of the nation, the magical land of bad drivers, Bruce Springsteen, and Mafia executions. Oh, my.  
  
Bleh...this is starting to get stupid, I think. I guess it was fun while it lasted, but this chapter is a bit less what I wanted. So, I'm ending it here. Hope you enjoyed it, but I am done. 


End file.
